heey sorry its been a while.
ive been busy.and stessed out.
everytime i logged on i wanted to write …but for a strange reason i couldn’t write,
my thoughts where so clouded,

so what happend sinds the last time i wrote,
well i made a choice to get my drivers licens at age 28 ,
and im still doing it now„,its awesome it feels freedom…
(i know that sounds weird’)
my mom had to go to the hospital couple of time for tests,
and she got a heart catheterization, 
they did not find a thing eventho she has pain in her chest,
and they cannot help her out with the terrible pain of rheumatoid arthritis,
so that fucking suck,
she pretends that she is okay and she has a big smile on her face everyday,
but if you look into her eyes you can see the pain and sadness of the pain she has to carry everyday with her,
that hurts to see, i pray to god to protect her and to help her,

so other stuff that happend 
my bff my sister got back with her babydaddy,
i told her how i felt about that, and i know he knows that nobody likes it,
cause of all the shit he pulled ,
but im not gonna judge …i told her how i felt.
but i also told her that if this is what she wants then i will accept it and moving on..and i will stand behind her and suport her decision.
i truly hope they can make it , my sister deserves a happy ending

my other lil bff sister she has been busy with looking for a new home for her and her man to live,
she applied for a other job ( cause her job is using her)
she is an nice hard worker and they use that,..and i hate that,
my lil sis deserves the best..and so she applied to get a new job,
and sadly she didnt get it..and i was hoping soooo hard..
cause she truly deserves it…so much

well ive been working and thinking about some stuff about my life,
there is this thing i go to every Wednesday ,
and ive been doing this for 3 years,
and now i need to move on..and work and live my life,
but its not easy to say goodbye to the people i have met at that thing,
ive become close to the people i have met there..
we have become friends..a new family,
and im thankfull for that…but im so sad i have to say goodbye.
i hate saying goodbye,
but i hope we at least can stay in touch,

so like i said im getting my drivers licens..
haha lovin that..i never knew i would love driving a car so bad lmao
i can see myself in a cool ass care eminem´s music blasting out my radio.
but until then i am driving in a car with big ass letter that says
my driving instructor is cool , i think he is my age.
oh god i need to tell ya something funny..( i think its funny)
at the beginning there where boys and girl before me and after me,
cause thats how it works here in holland, 
so lately there are only girls around the age of 18 -19 ,
and they be flirting so hard with  the driving instructor ,
and how can i tell….look we girls have two kinda laughs.
a loud laugh…and a sexy soft flirty laugh..
cause we dont wanna laugh like a pig infront of someone we like,
                                 “true right`
so my hour of the drive lessons are done and another girl steps in my seat,
and they bring me home ( cause thats how it works here)
and in the In the meantime you can clearly hear serious flirting going on ,
dude was lookin like huh!!! but i kinda Guess he likes it,
im fuckin laughing my ass off cause some girls are acting thirsty as hell.
wooo girrrll lmfao.
my sister was like oew girl you like him ,….me~ IEWWW HELL NAH
he not my type…ah she said i know if eminem was your driving instructor that would make you happy..ME~ HELLL YEAHH THAT WOULD BE AWESOME,
but anyways..ayeah i another thing..i became 29…yukk
im 29 but i i feel like i am 18 .

sounds grazy huh!! 
ah well i rather be grazy than boring as fuck,
thats my motto..
 ok im out.ill be back